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You Are What You Love

not what loves you back

1/2/16 11:38 pm - 2015 reflection

My annual LJ post. I need to print and archive these somewhere before LJ goes down for good some day.

1) Was 2015 a good year for you?
It was just okay.

2) What was your favorite moment of the year?
In a backwards way, my favorite time was the week I spent in Texas before my dad passed away. I'm glad my job and finances allowed me to take the time off, and that I was able to make a few more memories to treasure- like how he stole my peach popsicle the night before.

3) What was your least favorite moment of the year?
When I had to tell me mom that dad was gone and there wasn't a pulse any more.

4) Where were you when 2015 began?
I think we were in SF at Boris' parents, eating Russian food.

5) Who were you with?
Boris.

6) Where will you be when 2015 ends? (Filled this out 1/2/2016)
Boris and I were in bed. He fell asleep early, and I was still riled up from my preworkout earlier in the day. We had dinner at Yonaka and watched movies before that.

7) Who will you be with when 2015 ends?
See above!

8) What did you do in 2015 that you'd never done before?
Took a week off work. Actually ran a 5K.

9) Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I always make a vague goal to be healthier and lose weight, and I planned to do at least 6 5K runs-- I ened up doing 15! I'm hoping to do a 10K and maybe a half marathon in 2016, try one new fitness activity every month, and cook more at home.

10) Did anyone close to you give birth?
No one close to me. Beth and Sarah each had a kid, and Stephanie Fangman and Jamie Harrell each had a daughter.

11) Did anyone close to you die?
Yes, after years of battling COPD, my dad died October 2.

12) Did you travel outside of the US in 2015?
Yes, to St. Maarten, in the Caribbean.

13) How many different states did you travel to in 2015?
We always go to CA and TX each year. Also made it to Chicago (IL) for our anniversary. Is that really it?

14) What would you like to have in 2016 that you lacked in 2015?
A wedding ring. Tacky, I know. It's been three and a half years, though.

15) What date(s) from 2015 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
October 2nd.

16) What was your biggest achievement of the year?
I finally got down to running a mile under 10 minutes! I did a total of 15 5Ks, tracked my time, and have gone from a ~38 minute time to 29-30 minues.

17) What was your biggest failure?
Spending too much money, I need to be saving.

18) Did you suffer any illness or injury?
Nope.

19) What was the best thing you bought?
Tickets to see my dad. Many great meals out with B. My fitbit.

20) Whose behavior merited celebration?
Boris. He got his label lifted at the org and before our vacation he really cleaned up his eating and lost weight and was doing really good in that department for a while.

21) Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
I don't know about appalled and depressed, but I was really stressed out that my sister kind of cut contact with me for a couple of months after my dad passed away. I wish my mom and I talked more about him and how we're grieving rather than just about mundane daily stuff. It makes me really sad how little we talk about him.

22) Where did most of your money go?
Dining out. It got me 1000 yelp reviews in 2015 alone, and some amazingly memorable meals like Bazaar Meats, Giada, Kabuto, etc.

23) What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Going to Chicago, but that kind of went sideways and turned into a disaster.

24) What song will always remind you of 2015?
Probably anything from my bodypump classes, but nothing specific stands out.

25) Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? About the same, unless it's one of the days where I miss my dad so much I cry severla times.
ii. thinner or fatter? Not really either. Kind of thinner, weighed in at 168. Finally out of the 170s. Got some booty gains.
iii. richer or poorer? Kind of poorer. Spend more on the holidays than I'd planned.

26) What do you wish you'd done more of?
Spent time with my dad. But I did what I could.

27) What do you wish you'd done less of?
Less eating out, kind of.

28) How will you be spending Christmas?
In 2015, we went to Bear Valley with B's family and spent it in the snow with Russian food and card games.
In 2016? Who knows this far in advance.

29) Did you fall in love in 2015?
With the same guy over and over again.

30) If yes, with whom?
Boris Shusterman.

31) If yes, do they know?
Yes. I say it many times a day.

32) Are you still in love with them?
And I plan on staying that way.

33) You regret it?
Not at all.

34) Did you breakup with anyone in 2015?
Nope.

35) How many one-night stands?
None.

36) How many people did you sleep with in 2015?
Just my guy.

37) Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
I don't hate anyone.

38) Did you make any new friends in 2015?
Not really, no. I try to see Cassandra when I do 5Ks.

39) Who are your favorite new friends?
N/A

40) What was your favorite month of 2015?
I don't have one.

41) Did you miss anybody in the past year?
My dad. What feels like every minute since he's been gone.

42) Did you do anything you are ashamed of this year?
Nope.

43) What was the worst lie someone told you in 2015?
No major ones come to mind.

44) Did you treat somebody badly in 2015?
I don't think so, no.

45) Did somebody treat you badly in 2015?
Nothing serious, no.

46) What was your proudest moment of 2015?
Crossing the finish line at the Mustache Dache seeing the time under 30 minutes, thinking it was wrong, then seeing it was actually accurate.

47) What was your most embarrassing moment of 2015?
I can't think of any.

48) What was your greatest musical discovery?
Does upgrading to Spotify premium for running music count?

49) What did you want and get?
A lot of tasty food. More memories and adventures with B. Continued to workout and improved my running.

50) What did you want and not get?
More money. Traveling? We did, just not as much as I would have liked, considering how much money we've spent.

51) What was your favorite new film of this year?
Who knows.

52) What was your favorite TV program?
Not sure. Didn't really get into anything new but Parenthood.

53) What was your favorite record from 2015?
No clue.

54) How many concerts did you see in 2015?
None? How is that possible?

55) Did you have a favorite concert in 2015?
Apparently not.

56) Did you drink a lot of alcohol in 2015?
Nope. Just some wine every so often. Menage a Trois Midnight and Silk are solid, so is the Carnivor cab.

57) Did you do a lot of drugs in 2015?
Didn't do any, outside of the prescription variety.. and even then, not really anything.

58) What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
Turned 28 this year. Went to dinner with B at that greek place at the SLS. It was pretty underwhelming.

59) What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
I don't know. Making it down to my goal weight of 150?

60) How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2015?
I still have no fashion sense. Wish I did though.

61) What kept you sane?
My cats and my guy.

62) Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
I'm really into the Rock these days.

63) How much money did you spend in 2015?
Way more than I should have.

64) Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2015.
You can't just take the good stuff.

65) What are your plans for 2016?
I want to stay in Vegas and marry B and buy or rent a house, and get a pup- maybe a Corgi named Taco, like I dreamed about.

66) Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
Nah.

12/27/12 02:03 pm - The end of 2012

1) Was 2012 a good year for you?
Probably the best so far.

2) What was your favorite moment of the year?
My one-month anniversary with Boris- we were on a plane heading to San Francisco for a last vacation before the school year began, right after I graduated with my Masters, and we stayed with his family, who I was stunned he would have me meet. The trip itself was amazing, and we're heading back tomorrow.

3) What was your least favorite moment of the year?
You know, so many good moments have outweighed the bad that I don't really know. Probably a moment when I realized that I don't mean as much to someone as they do/did to me. That's always one of the worst feelings.

4) Where were you when 2012 began?
A guy I was seeing, Will, was over. We watched movies or something before midnight, then watched the fireworks on the horizon from my balcony. And I would have rather been alone.

5) Who were you with?
Will.

6) Where will you be when 2012 ends?
With Boris and his family, in San Francisco, at a Russian party. With vodka and wine and olivyie, which is this delicious russian potato dish that I love.

7) Who will you be with when 2012 ends?
See above!

8) What did you do in 2012 that you'd never done before?
Started a genuine relationship. Moved in with my significant other. Lost 40-50 pounds. Went on a spur-of-the-moment trip. Got my Masters (in Education). Got a new job making my highest salary yet, at a school district instead of a charter school.

9) Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
Yes, I lost weight. And I need to continue to do so.

10) Did anyone close to you give birth?
No one super close to me (my cousin Liz, old coworker Sam), but quite a few friends are now pregnant- Julie, April, and Katie.

11) Did anyone close to you die?
Yes, both of my grandfathers.

12) Did you travel outside of the US in 2012?
Nope. Would love to change that in 2013!

13) How many different states did you travel to in 2012?
St. Louis, MO; Delray Beach, FL; LA and San Francisco, CA.

14) What would you like to have in 2013 that you lacked in 2012?
I want to make new friends.

15) What date(s) from 2011 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
June 27 (met Boris) and July 10 (became his girlfriend).

16) What was your biggest achievement of the year?
My relationship. I hate to sound like a broken record, but it's been very much a learning experience. I have grown so much.

17) What was your biggest failure?
Hard to say... I initially lost a bunch of weight but since meeting Boris have been more laid back about working out and eating right. Would love to go back to losing and get this final 15-20 pounds off to my Ultimate Goal Weight (LOL) but I know it's also an achievement to be able to maintain this loss, and I also know that my fanatical way of losing it is not something I can sustain indefinitely and it probably isn't healthy, either. But I need to find a comfortable balance- maybe this should be my NY resolution?

18) Did you suffer any illness or injury?
Not that I can recall.

19) What was the best thing you bought?
Plane tickets, and/or our new apartment?

20) Whose behavior merited celebration?
Uh, can I toot my own own and say MINE? 'Cause, yeah, I totally kicked ass this year.

21) Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
My former boss and how he handled my resignation. Should have seen it coming, though.

22) Where did most of your money go?
Probably on food/gas. I never realized how rarely I went out until I started doing it constantly. No bueno for my checkbook! :(

23) What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Vacations with my boyfriend. We plan as much as we can and stuff it into a few days and have a blasty-blast.

24) What song will always remind you of 2012?
The entire Les Mis soundtrack.

25) Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? Happier.
ii. thinner or fatter? Thinner. By far. I just wish this magically meant it was easier to find clothes (it's actually harder, I think).
iii. richer or poorer? Hm. I want to say richer, given my higher salary, but probably about broke even with how much I'm spending lately.

26) What do you wish you'd done more of?
Good question. More healthy eating, less eating out. More cooking, because I love to do it but don't seem to do it as often as I should or not as healthily as I should.

27) What do you wish you'd done less of?
Worrying. Everything happens for a reason and everything will work out in the end.

28) How will you be spending Christmas?
On Christmas Eve, Boris and I had lunch with my parents and he met my dad for the first time and all went well. On Christmas, I'd planned on having a quick lunch with my grandmother and aunt, then going home to make a brisket with Boris and watching movies and seeing Les Mis, but instead he went with me and "lunch" took forever, and we did the brisket the next day, but we did see the movies. No big difference, I guess.

29) Did you fall in love in 2012?
Yes.

30) If yes, with whom?
Boris Shusterman.

31) If yes, do they know?
Yes. I say it many times a day.

32) Are you still in love with them?
And I plan on staying that way.

33) You regret it?
Not at all.

34) Did you breakup with anyone in 2012?
Wasn't in a relationship to "break up" with anyone. Stopped seeing people who treated me like crap.

35) How many one-night stands?
None?

36) How many people did you sleep with in 2012?
Six? But two were repeats. If that matters.

37) Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
I don't hate anyone.

38) Did you make any new friends in 2012?
Sort of. I am friendly with Boris's friends, and I'm friendly with my new coworkers. But no one I'm really close to, no.

39) Who are your favorite new friends?
N/A

40) What was your favorite month of 2012?
August was pretty decent. Graduated, went to San Francisco, went back to work only to quit the second week of the semester and start my new job.

41) Did you miss anybody in the past year?
Yeah, there's always someone to miss.

42) Did you do anything you are ashamed of this year?
Not really, no. Nothing comes to mind, anyway.

43) What was the worst lie someone told you in 2012?
Probably that they cared about me more than they really did, but it's irrelevant now.

44) Did you treat somebody badly in 2012?
Possibly. It was unintentional, and I'm pretty sure it's been fixed, so I try not to dwell on it.

45) Did somebody treat you badly in 2012?
I'm sure, but it's water under the bridge at this point.

46) What was your proudest moment of 2012?
Too many to name.

47) What was your most embarrassing moment of 2012?
Who knows. I'm usually able to laugh most things off.

48) What was your greatest musical discovery?
Honestly I don't think I made any. Music has taken such a backseat in my life.

49) What did you want and get?
To travel! To love! To make more money!

50) What did you want and not get?
Some better friends... but that's not always a bad thing.

51) What was your favorite new film of this year?
Saw several, not all new. Memento was good, as was The Artist and Life of Pi, but I wouldn't call any of them my favorite.

52) What was your favorite TV program?
I've been totally absorbed in Breaking Bad and Revenge. Grey's is still a long time favorite though.

53) What was your favorite record from 2012?
N/A. I don't think I listened to a single new album in it's entirety.

54) How many concerts did you see in 2012?
Um, none?

55) Did you have a favorite concert in 2012?
N/A?

56) Did you drink a lot of alcohol in 2012?
Nope. Just as I've done away with drugs, I rarely drink these days either. My wine rack is fully stocked and I don't really have any desire to drink.

57) Did you do a lot of drugs in 2012?
Didn't do any, outside of the prescription variety.

58) What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
Dinner with my family a few days before or after, dinner with my boyfriend and some of our mutual friends the day of.

59) What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
I have no idea.

60) How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2012?
I still don't have any fashion sense. It's frustrating that I used to be able to find fashionable clothes online easier before I lost weight and now things are just more difficult and not as well fitted. I guess it's because I'm not just wearing potato sacks these days.

61) What kept you sane?
My cats and my Boris.

62) Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Alex Trebek is still #1 in my heart.

63) How much money did you spend in 2012?
I could probably pull up my bank account and give you an exact number, but that would be really fucking depressing, so let's not.

64) Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2012:
Who knows...


65) What are your plans for 2013?
Finish up the academic year working in the science department at my new job, then figure out where Boris and I can get jobs over the summer so we can move somewhere on the west coast. And we'll take it from there.

66) Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
Who knows...

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